People appreciation

One of my dearest childhood friends, Candace Ann Miller DeHaan passed away over the weekend.  Candy-girl didn’t actually pass away but went out like lightening from a heart attack.  Yesterday I wrote a sympathy letter enclosed in a card to her lifelong husband Dennis.  They’d met at Northern Colorado University in Greeley where Candy graduated with a B.A. in Liberal Studies and earned an elementary teaching credential.  As an exemplarary teacher, she was advanced to becoming a teacher coach in her district in Minnesota.  Candy had the bad luck of being predisposed to a heart condition with both parents dying in mid-life from heart problems.  Raw grief feels like fear; not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid.  The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning, swallowing, and then that anguished loneliness covers us like a blanket.

Teleflora's Garden of Serenity Bouquet Flowers
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11 thoughts on “People appreciation

  1. Becky, you are so right. My mother died just before Easter, and my dad just before the 4th of July. The fourth was a huge holiday for my family. Losing my parents was hard but nothing like losing a child or livelong mate.

  2. Mary Alice, during the prayers of the faithful there’s a section at the end when names of the sick and recently deceased are named, and the congregation prays for them. Sometimes a mass is given in honor of a deceased person, praying for the repose of their soul, reminding loved ones that the person died in faith and grace. It’s something like saying the person is at peace and with God.

  3. Yes, absolutely. Every religion offers the belief of some sort of afterlife because the human brain has the capacity of great love. We want to be with those we’ve lost again, and I think we will. Mysteriously, that belief makes our hearts grow lighter. A grief-stricken person can sleep more soundly. After my mother died I dreamed I saw her walking with her dear friend who had preceded her in death. I called out to my mom but she couldn’t hear me. I woke up knowing she was in heaven. The sun was shining, and there was a light breeze. I believe God speaks to us in dreams.

  4. Mary Alice, I am one of those people who had a near death experience and remembered it. As a twelve-year-old I (according to my parents, an MD psychiatrist and nurse) I stopped breathing from an asthmatic attack and was gone until my dad gave me a shot of epinephrin. During those few minutes I was in the arms of beautiful welcoming angels.

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