In GOLD STANDARD OF THIN, we included two chapters on caring for ourselves, “Nuggets for Your Inner Self” and “Making Your World Golden,” but didn’t write about all situations. Yesterday a reader emailed and told me she’d been deeply offended and was at a loss. In her case she ate an entire chocolate cake and is back on track, but wanted to know how I’d respond when someone has offended me. As a matter of fact, this happened to me over the weekend. I said something that offended my grandson who is ten-years-old. In turn, his parents (my son and daughter-in-law) phoned me up and told me I was not supporting my grandson’s dream. This incident happened when we were asked to take care of our grandchildren for an overnight. When my grandson had said, “I’m going to be the first person in my family to go to Stanford University,” I said, “There are many wonderful universities. Tuition at Stanford is about $40,000 a year, and you’ll need a 3.8 GPA.” Whoops, wrong answer from Grandma! When my son told me to support his dream, I felt misunderstood and offended. I understand how parents want their kids to “Shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you’ll land in the stars.”
I told my son I partially reacted because it seemed like bragging for a kid who hardly studied and had average grades. For two miserable days, I held on to anger, bitterness and pride. On the third day I was sick of the way I was harboring an unforgiving heart. A doormat needs to get up off the floor! Sometimes we aren’t going to get justice for ourselves, but we do need self restoration. I forgive all of us; we’re human and do not always agree. A forgiving heart is how we can free ourselves and let it go. I tell myself I can’t control anything outside of myself. I did decide one thing, and that is to be careful about giving my opinion around them. That’s okay. My husband often says, “Awesome” or “Good for you,” when he thinks otherwise. At the moment I’m feeling peaceful.